Nyanko's Basket

I feel great; just fantastic. Basically, I managed to screw up the debate in which I was the opening speaker, because I forgot about our team strategy, what I was supposed to speak about, and the entire order of stuff.

The debate hasn't finished yet, but it's unlikely that we'll win, since the first speech usually matters a lot.

I don't really know where to begin, but somehow I knew in my bones that today wouldn't be a good day. Maybe it was the small breakfast I had - one slice of bread with some grated cheese - or maybe it was being late for physiotherapy and having to wait for my turn at the gym and not getting any ice because it was too crowded. Whatever it was, it sure set the tone for the rest of the afternoon.

First off, I decided to go back to camp to settle some outstanding matters. I didn't expect a litany of complaints, about how I hadn't taught my replacement properly and how he wasn't sure about many things. For crying out loud, he came only after I had the operation and was stuck at home, and it's not like he's too dumb to figure out stuff. Such as how to connect a laptop to the projector, or how to prepare the reports every month. Basically, I got the feeling that I wasn't welcome, I was playing hooky of a sort.

Adding fuel to the fire.. I got home to find my computer turned off without being shutdown properly. That wouldn't have been so bad, if I knew who did it. My mother said she didn't, and my sister said she didn't either, and when my brother came home it was already off. So, I don't know who to ask why they did that. It's not like it's going to explode from from being on for 10 days non-stop, it's been on for longer than that without any problems. Obviously though, it must have caused someone much grief to see it on.

What really annoyed me, and made me angry though, was that my address was lost. It's a dynamic address, so if you want to keep it your computer has to be on every day as it renews the address every hour.. I have to find everyone who linked to my website and tell them about the new address, which somehow makes me feel bad. I should've been responsible for keeping the address, so that they wouldn't have to take the trouble to change. Thankfully, nothing else happened to any of my files.

A good, long cry into my pillow made me feel a little better, and talking to M_r helped too, but it's still there, stored with the other disappointments and hurt. I can't face it straight, can't tell anyone about it, so the most I can do is to write about it and hope.. hope that my closest friends, whoever they are, will understand...