(no subject)

[nyankoframe]

I don't really know where to begin, but somehow I knew in my bones that today wouldn't be a good day. Maybe it was the small breakfast I had - one slice of bread with some grated cheese - or maybe it was being late for physiotherapy and having to wait for my turn at the gym and not getting any ice because it was too crowded. Whatever it was, it sure set the tone for the rest of the afternoon.

First off, I decided to go back to camp to settle some outstanding matters. I didn't expect a litany of complaints, about how I hadn't taught my replacement properly and how he wasn't sure about many things. For crying out loud, he came only after I had the operation and was stuck at home, and it's not like he's too dumb to figure out stuff. Such as how to connect a laptop to the projector, or how to prepare the reports every month. Basically, I got the feeling that I wasn't welcome, I was playing hooky of a sort.

Adding fuel to the fire.. I got home to find my computer turned off without being shutdown properly. That wouldn't have been so bad, if I knew who did it. My mother said she didn't, and my sister said she didn't either, and when my brother came home it was already off. So, I don't know who to ask why they did that. It's not like it's going to explode from from being on for 10 days non-stop, it's been on for longer than that without any problems. Obviously though, it must have caused someone much grief to see it on.

What really annoyed me, and made me angry though, was that my address was lost. It's a dynamic address, so if you want to keep it your computer has to be on every day as it renews the address every hour.. I have to find everyone who linked to my website and tell them about the new address, which somehow makes me feel bad. I should've been responsible for keeping the address, so that they wouldn't have to take the trouble to change. Thankfully, nothing else happened to any of my files.

A good, long cry into my pillow made me feel a little better, and talking to M_r helped too, but it's still there, stored with the other disappointments and hurt. I can't face it straight, can't tell anyone about it, so the most I can do is to write about it and hope.. hope that my closest friends, whoever they are, will understand...

Comments

[mewryuu.livejournal.com]

>_< I'm sorry things aren't going so well...I know how depressing a bad day can be, it just eats away at your spirit sometimes..first of all, like I already explained, none of us mind having to change our links at all (well, I don't, and shame on anyone who does! *shakes finger* After all, you're the one actually doing the work)--don't you dare feel guilty about that. You *were* being responsible--LPLM, if there's one thing about life you need to learn, it's not to worry about outside circumstances you can't control. Could you predict them turning it off? No. Could you prevent it? No. Is it your fault? No. Then why worry? Worrying about things beyond your power is pointless, and blaming yourself is even moreso--instead, take what happens as it happens, and remember that there's a silver lining to every storm cloud and an end to every bad day. And that your friends care about you and you're certainly worth more than the trouble of a little link change to us. Whoever did it should have owned up to it...but people are human, and perhaps whoever did it feels bad, or doesn't want to get in trouble for their mistake. It's natural, and it doesn't mean they're against you in any way, not over something small like this.

As for breakfast--you need to eat more, LPLM! *shakes finger and locks him in a kitchen* Shame, you know you should eat more than that, and being malnourished makes one more emotionally sensitive, so a bad day hits even harder.

As for the matter of camp...LPLM, I think by now you should know that the people you worked with are largely inconsiderate assholes. Doesn't mean you have to hate them, because people are only human, we all have our flaws, but it does mean that you shouldn't take anything they say about you seriously. Don't let it get to you--you already know you're a harder worker than any of them, you should be proud of that. And you don't have to work with them anymore--it's not that you're not welcome, but that they're not welcoming people. You're on the moral high ground, you should feel good about yourself for it--I know it's small consolation when you're feeling down, being treated harshly by others can really hurt, even when you know not to trust their opinion...but don't forget our opinions here, and don't forget that they're only human, probably even more miserable and frustrated in their own lives and desperately seeking for a way to relieve their own tension. Taking it out on you is wrong, but human. Don't be disappointed in yourself because your workmen are cranky--you've done the best you can in everything, and done a great job at it. Stop sometimes to think about your good intentions and accomplisments, and realize that they mean something. ^_^

x_x

[tennen-rishin.livejournal.com]

Eat ice cream for breakfast, it's good for you.
Gokuu: No! AT LEAST ten boxes! *makes puppy eyes to Sanzo* Sanzooooooooooo, my tummy hur-
Sanzo: SHUT UP! *WHAP*
*you hear several sounds of a monkey being maligned*
Ok..... never mind.. I'm not very good at cheering people up... and I'm worse at expressing my feelings in words or doings so I am now obliged to shut up.

[nova20.livejournal.com]

no-ip (http://www.no-ip.com/) is your friend :-)