nyankoframe: (Default)
At the time I first thought of writing this post, I was in a ranting mood, and I wanted to use this post to whine about people's behaviour today and the overdramatization of Valentine's Day in today's culture - that people who don't celebrate it (whether by choice or other reasons) are somehow inferior to those who do.

Things happen (cue Murphy's Law reference). I ranted in an IRC channel, I got called on it (and ranted at on air), and what that person said made me realize that I don't have to be bitter about not being able to celebrate it with anyone, nor should I begrudge other people their happiness, even if they're a little too open about it for my liking.

After all, it's just another day. And I agree with that person that it shouldn't be the only day in a year that you love your partner.

I disagree with her, however, that the main reason people can't get attached is that they don't step away from their computers and try to create a social life for themselves. Because even if you try, sometimes it just doesn't work and you get disillusioned from the negative feedback.

I'm not sure whether I want to write the rest of this post publicly, mostly because I'm not looking forward to writing it at all. On the other hand, if I don't make it public, people will continue to say "That guy is a wet blanket and he won't tell anyone why."

... I think the best thing to do is to wait until tomorrow, when it's all died down, to decide if I want to write that second part. It might not be pleasant reading; it definitely won't be pleasant writing for me.
nyankoframe: (Default)
'nuff said.
nyankoframe: (Default)
I feel great; just fantastic. Basically, I managed to screw up the debate in which I was the opening speaker, because I forgot about our team strategy, what I was supposed to speak about, and the entire order of stuff.

The debate hasn't finished yet, but it's unlikely that we'll win, since the first speech usually matters a lot.
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Collected my IC yesterday, marking the end of 2 years and 3 months of military service.. there's still 3 months to go but I'm going to finish that either during the holidays or after I graduate. Won't be doing much then, in contrast to now.

The last few days were really hectic, I had to work almost throughout the night to finish stuff.. one day I went to sleep at 2:15 because I just couldn't stay up any more, and the other day (I think it was Thursday or Friday) I went to sleep at 11 and woke up at 4:40 to finish. Basically, my sleep schedules were totally screwed, and I kept nodding off on the bus - nearly missed my stop. Also, because of being so busy, I wasn't able to go for therapy on Thursday or Friday, which isn't good.. I'm supposed to go twice a week. -_-;;;; In fact, I'm still sleep-deprived.. went to sleep at 1:30 yesterday and wanted to wake up only at 10 or so but woke up at 7:45.

What did I learn? Well, there are some people who won't help you, they care only about themselves and won't move a muscle for anyth8ing else. Case in point: when I was at home after the operation, they basically didn't care and let the stuff run to the ground, waiting for me to come back and settle everything. Then they had the nerve to say it was *my* fault for having the operation. Excuse me? You're not the one with the easily-twisting ankle, so it's none of of your fucking business when or if I have any operation. It's my health, not yours.

There are some people who are the opposite though, like my ex-boss. There were quite a few things missing, and he'll try to help as much as possible without doing anything illegal, and even though I doubt he can do much, at least he's willing to try. It's out of my hands now, so I'm not going to dwell too much on it.

Still getting ready for tomorrow.. gah, there's so much to do. o.O;;
nyankoframe: (Default)
I don't really know where to begin, but somehow I knew in my bones that today wouldn't be a good day. Maybe it was the small breakfast I had - one slice of bread with some grated cheese - or maybe it was being late for physiotherapy and having to wait for my turn at the gym and not getting any ice because it was too crowded. Whatever it was, it sure set the tone for the rest of the afternoon.

First off, I decided to go back to camp to settle some outstanding matters. I didn't expect a litany of complaints, about how I hadn't taught my replacement properly and how he wasn't sure about many things. For crying out loud, he came only after I had the operation and was stuck at home, and it's not like he's too dumb to figure out stuff. Such as how to connect a laptop to the projector, or how to prepare the reports every month. Basically, I got the feeling that I wasn't welcome, I was playing hooky of a sort.

Adding fuel to the fire.. I got home to find my computer turned off without being shutdown properly. That wouldn't have been so bad, if I knew who did it. My mother said she didn't, and my sister said she didn't either, and when my brother came home it was already off. So, I don't know who to ask why they did that. It's not like it's going to explode from from being on for 10 days non-stop, it's been on for longer than that without any problems. Obviously though, it must have caused someone much grief to see it on.

What really annoyed me, and made me angry though, was that my address was lost. It's a dynamic address, so if you want to keep it your computer has to be on every day as it renews the address every hour.. I have to find everyone who linked to my website and tell them about the new address, which somehow makes me feel bad. I should've been responsible for keeping the address, so that they wouldn't have to take the trouble to change. Thankfully, nothing else happened to any of my files.

A good, long cry into my pillow made me feel a little better, and talking to M_r helped too, but it's still there, stored with the other disappointments and hurt. I can't face it straight, can't tell anyone about it, so the most I can do is to write about it and hope.. hope that my closest friends, whoever they are, will understand...

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