nyankoframe: (Default)
So last night, my team decided not to go for Break Night because we felt that there wasn't really any chance we would break into anything, and we spent the night watching some cricket (Aus - Eng ODI) and then went to sleep.

This morning, we woke up and got the news that we were one of the 4 ESL breaking teams (the others being UT Mara, Japan 1 and SP). Understandably, we were happy since it was the first time we'd broken as a team in Australs. And so we went to Dreamworld for the day, where we basically had fun at least for the first half of the day.

Cue Council meeting, and then around 5:15 pm, CL comes over to tell me "just to let you know, we won't be speaking tomorrow after all, since apparently the adj core forgot that IIU registered for ESL when announcing the break, and they were the top-breaking ESL team".

I don't think I really need to say how I felt at hearing that. It pretty much turned everything around, to the extent that I left the test debate (another complete waste of time, but we couldn't walk around while it was in progress) without my phone which had fallen out of my pocket, thankfully Sushil found it and returned it to me.

So... I don't feel angry at the organizers for getting the tab wrong, nor at IIU for registering for ESL even though they had a team in the main break, nor at my team-mates because they certainly tried their best... but at myself because my low speaker scores dragged us down.

In any case, this is definitely my last Australs (because I'll be re-enlisting/graduating next year), and it'll most likely be my last tournament too. I do wish that I had been able to end my debating career on a somewhat higher note, but I suppose breaking as a reserve adjudicator at last year's Asians will be the one and only highlight.
nyankoframe: (Default)
RIP, friend. =/
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IE ate my earlier post (no Semagic here since this is a public computer at an Internet cafe) so I need to repost this.

I suppose, in hindsight, that I deserved the results I got. And it also means that I won't be able to get into a Honours degree unless something happens next semester.

I'll probably put some more detail later on why I felt I got the results I did here, because I only have 11 minutes left.

Results )
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Going by what they said, of the 6 speakers there, 5 were good enough that they couldn't find any major problems with them.

Sometimes I wonder why I continue with this; it's not like I'm contributing anything -- besides being a source of laughter sometimes.

At this point, I have to start considering seriously whether I should continue here...
nyankoframe: (Default)
Okay.. I knew after I gave it last week that it sucked and I screwed it up, but it's still a whole new feeling to see it in black and white how badly I did.

*doesn't really feel like talking more about it now* This also happens to be a public lab..
nyankoframe: (Default)
Feeling a little less emotional now, so.. as promised, I'll write what happened.

The auditions for the September concert were today. and.. I wish I could do something about the result, but I know I can't. I failed the audition, completely screwed up my playing of both pieces and generally made myself look like I was completely unable to play the piano.

I don't know what caused it. Maybe it was nerves, or being stressed, or just lack of sleep and food. Whatever it was, the people organising the auditions weren't exactly very sympathetic.. they told me, though nicely, that I sucked 'cause I didn't have the proper techniques...

*sighs* I really wanted to play, but I won't be now..
nyankoframe: (Default)
Don't feel like saying much now 'cause it's still very raw.. maybe I'll feel better tomorrow, though I doubt it.

If you want to know...
nyankoframe: (Default)
I don't really know where to begin, but somehow I knew in my bones that today wouldn't be a good day. Maybe it was the small breakfast I had - one slice of bread with some grated cheese - or maybe it was being late for physiotherapy and having to wait for my turn at the gym and not getting any ice because it was too crowded. Whatever it was, it sure set the tone for the rest of the afternoon.

First off, I decided to go back to camp to settle some outstanding matters. I didn't expect a litany of complaints, about how I hadn't taught my replacement properly and how he wasn't sure about many things. For crying out loud, he came only after I had the operation and was stuck at home, and it's not like he's too dumb to figure out stuff. Such as how to connect a laptop to the projector, or how to prepare the reports every month. Basically, I got the feeling that I wasn't welcome, I was playing hooky of a sort.

Adding fuel to the fire.. I got home to find my computer turned off without being shutdown properly. That wouldn't have been so bad, if I knew who did it. My mother said she didn't, and my sister said she didn't either, and when my brother came home it was already off. So, I don't know who to ask why they did that. It's not like it's going to explode from from being on for 10 days non-stop, it's been on for longer than that without any problems. Obviously though, it must have caused someone much grief to see it on.

What really annoyed me, and made me angry though, was that my address was lost. It's a dynamic address, so if you want to keep it your computer has to be on every day as it renews the address every hour.. I have to find everyone who linked to my website and tell them about the new address, which somehow makes me feel bad. I should've been responsible for keeping the address, so that they wouldn't have to take the trouble to change. Thankfully, nothing else happened to any of my files.

A good, long cry into my pillow made me feel a little better, and talking to M_r helped too, but it's still there, stored with the other disappointments and hurt. I can't face it straight, can't tell anyone about it, so the most I can do is to write about it and hope.. hope that my closest friends, whoever they are, will understand...


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